the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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