the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
