Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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