i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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