When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize