and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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