just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize