The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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