At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
