I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
