we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
