i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
