I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
