Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
