you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
