Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
