Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
