My hair reeks of homosexuality.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
