Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
