you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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