You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
