I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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