he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
