can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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