now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
