I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Randomize
