They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
