Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
