I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
