Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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