but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bring money and cleavage
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
