I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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