Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize