You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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