the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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