I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
