he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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