3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
