I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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