real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
