Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize