eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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