Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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