sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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