He is an equal opportunity slut.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
