ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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