Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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