I feel like abortions should bother me more
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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