I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
