You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize