My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
