what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize