We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize