like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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