She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
